Thinking

By: L Jones

When I tell people that I am shy, most laugh. The ones that know me laugh even more, but it’s true. I am shy. I’m not trying to prove that I am shy, but more to open up a bit and allow you to explore my shyness.

I remember at a young age being very timid and reserved. We moved a lot when I was in elementary school, which means I switched schools frequently. It seemed like whenever I became comfortable with my environment, I was uprooted and replanted somewhere else. The whole process was very stressful on me. Looking back on it as an adult, it had to have been even more stressful on my mom. I didn’t make it easy on her. I wanted to spend every waking hour with either her or my grandmother. I was like a plant in a field of weeds trying to find its way. They were my sun and my water; through them I blossomed.

As a man, you would probably see me as an out going carefree kind of guy, and to a point, I am. I try to remain as stress free as possible, but the shyness, though hidden, is a hard habit to kick. One way that I work around my shyness is by writing. I can usually say, through written words exactly what I feel about something, without the fear of being chastised, ridiculed or rejected. Sometimes, it is difficult for me to say certain things, and I leave these things unsaid.

Through written and some verbal communication, I am continually working on ridding myself of the subtle form of fear.  I hope to one day be a respected speaker, but with this shyness… I’m working on it. See you tomorrow.